Frequently Asked Questions

You can talk about anything that feels important to you. There is no right or wrong thing to bring to counselling, and you don't need to know exactly what you want to talk about before you arrive.​ You might want to explore your relationships, emotions, difficult experiences, patterns you feel stuck in, or questions about who you are and what you want from your life. You are also welcome to talk about things that can sometimes feel difficult to speak about, such as family, sexuality, gender, spirituality, your body, money or death.​ The confidential nature of counselling offers a space to explore things you may not feel able to talk about elsewhere.Sometimes you might not know what you want to say at all. We can start there too. You don't need to have everything worked out, and you will never be expected to share something before you feel ready.​ It can take time to build trust with a counsellor. As you begin to feel more comfortable with me, you may naturally find it easier to share more.You can also tell me how you are experiencing our work together — including if something I have said hasn't felt right or you feel I have misunderstood you. All of this can be part of the counselling process.

Sometimes simply having the space to talk openly with another person can be incredibly helpful. Putting our experiences into words can help us understand ourselves more clearly, particularly when we feel confused, overwhelmed or caught in the same patterns.Counselling is also different from talking to a friend. My role is to really listen to you, without judgement or needing anything from you in return. Together, we can become curious about what you are experiencing and begin to understand some of the feelings, patterns and needs that may be underneath it.But counselling with me doesn't always have to be about talking. Sometimes our bodies can tell us things that are difficult to put into words. If it feels helpful, I may invite you to notice what is happening in your body, or we might find gentle ways of helping your nervous system to feel more settled. Counselling can be a safe space to explore how we are feeling, perhaps getting in touch with ourselves in a different way rather than just circling in our thoughts.We can also explore the different 'parts' of you. For example, one part of you might desperately want something to change while another part feels frightened of that change. Rather than seeing either part as a problem, we can become curious about what each one might be trying to do for you and what it might need. There is space for every part of you to have its experience, to be heard and valued.Every person is unique, so we can find what feels helpful for you and work at your pace.

In the initial counselling session, I will ask you a few questions about what brought you to seek counselling, what expectations you might have, if you've had therapy before and how you found it. I will also check-in to see how you are feeling about the counselling process. You may be feeling nervous about starting counselling, especially if it is new to you. I will give you plenty of time to share any concerns or questions you have. Together, we can look at what you might like to get out of counselling and how we could do that. If I feel I am not able to support you, I will do my best to recommend another therapist who might suit you better. It is important that you feel comfortable working with me. I will absolutely respect your choice if you decide not to work with me after the initial session, or at any stage of the counselling process. As a registered member, I work in alignment with the ethical principles of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). This means I have some ethical and legal obligations which I need to ensure you are aware of, such as confidentiality. I will explain these to you during this session.We can also discuss if you would like to receive counselling in-person or online. I offer counselling in Totnes and Exeter (in-person), online and over the telephone.  You don't need to decide during the initial session if you would like to work with me. If you would like to work together, in the next session, I will ask you to sign a written agreement which outlines what we have discussed.

There isn't a set amount of time that you need to have counselling for. We are all different, and how long you choose to come will depend on what you would like support with and what feels helpful for you.Sometimes people come to counselling because of something happening in their life right now, such as a relationship difficulty, bereavement, work stress or a decision they are struggling with. A shorter period of counselling may be enough to help you find your way through something like this.At other times, what brings us to counselling can lead us towards deeper patterns or experiences from our past. You might want more time to understand yourself, your relationships and some of the ways you have learned to cope with life. In this case, counselling can become a longer-term process.You don't need to decide this at the beginning. We can regularly check in together about how you are finding the counselling, whether it is helping and what you would like from our work. Sometimes what you initially come to counselling for changes as you begin to understand yourself more deeply.There is no pressure to stay in counselling for a particular length of time. We can work together for as long as it feels useful to you. If you would like to, when you feel ready to finish, we can take some time to bring our work to a close in a way that feels helpful and meaningful to you.

If you are having suicidal thoughts, I welcome you to tell me about them. Having thoughts about suicide does not automatically mean that I will break confidentiality, and I don't want you to feel that you have to hide these thoughts from me.If you tell me that you are thinking about suicide, or you say something that makes me wonder if you might be having suicidal thoughts, I will gently check this out with you. I will listen and try to understand what you are experiencing, rather than making assumptions about what those thoughts mean for you. We can talk openly about the thoughts, how they feel for you and what might be happening in your life. I may ask you some questions so that together we can understand how safe you are and what support you might need.If I believe that you are at serious risk of harming yourself, I may need to contact your GP so that you can receive additional support. Wherever possible, I would talk with you about this first and seek your permission before contacting them.My hope is that counselling can be a place where even very difficult thoughts can be spoken about openly, without judgement, and where you don't have to carry them on your own.

I am not able to provide an emergency or crisis service, and I may not always be available outside of our arranged sessions. I usually check messages on working days, but I do not monitor them continuously. Although I do my best to respond as soon as possible, I cannot guarantee a response time.If you are struggling and need urgent support, it is important to contact a service that can respond to you straight away.If you need urgent help with your mental health but it is not an emergency, you can contact NHS 111 online or call 111 and select the mental health option. If you or someone else is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to A&E.You can also call Samaritans free on 116 123, at any time of the day or night, if you need someone to talk to.You may also wish to contact your GP for support.If you are having a particularly difficult time but do not need emergency support, you are welcome to contact me to ask about an additional or earlier counselling session. If I have availability, I will do my best to offer this.

Outside of the counselling room, there is always a possibility that we might bump into each other. We can talk about this when we begin working together so that I know what would feel most comfortable for you.You may be happy for us to smile and say hello to each other, or you might prefer that I don't acknowledge you at all and that we simply walk past one another. Either is absolutely fine. To protect your confidentiality, I won't approach you or start a conversation.If we do happen to see each other, you are always welcome to talk about how the experience felt for you when we next meet.

There may be times when something I say or do doesn't feel right to you. Perhaps you feel that I have misunderstood you, made an assumption, missed something important or simply got something wrong. You may feel disappointed, angry, hurt or uncomfortable with me.If this happens, I really welcome you telling me, either at the time or whenever you feel able to. I will listen openly and be curious about your experience, rather than becoming defensive or assuming that I know best.Relationships are not always perfect, including the relationship between counsellor and client. Sometimes talking together about a difficult moment can help us understand something important about what happened between us and what you needed from me.For some people, being able to express hurt, anger or disappointment within a relationship and have it taken seriously can be a very different experience from what they have known before. If it feels helpful, we can gently explore this together and see whether there is a way forward that feels right for you.You are also always free to decide that you don't want to continue working with me. Talking about something that has upset you does not mean that you have to repair the relationship or carry on with counselling. At the same time, if you do want to explore what happened together, it can be a helpful opportunity to practise navigating difficulties in relationships and to build confidence in doing this outside the counselling room.